Important papers and a set back

Today started off pretty exciting.

While I was in the US (a Lizardpost on culture shock), Pollito was on top of things and got my birth certificate and certificate of singleness legalized and translated.  My parents had gotten these two documents for us and taken them to the Peruvian Consulate in SF to get them legalized and then FedEx'd them down.  Pollito took the papers to the Ministry of the Exterior and had THOSE signatures legalized, and then he took them to an official translator to have them translated.

Today we took the translated papers back to the Ministry of the Exterior to have the official translators signature legalized.  Now, if you have official translators, approved by the Ministry of the Exterior, WHY DO YOU NEED THEIR SIGNATURE LEGALIZED BY THE MINISTRY OF THE EXTERIOR????

Anyway, Pollito waited in line, because they only let one person stand in line at a time, and then we got some juice and wandered around the chaotic downtown before we went back to stand in line to collect said documents.  We were worried that we were going to have to return the following day to pick up the documents, but it just took an hour!  Hurray!  My poor one page documents had been turned into 5 pages of stamps and seals. Very official looking.

Legalized official signature

Documents full of official stamps and seals!

We hit major traffic and horribly designed streets on the way home and then checking for our documents we thought we had everything together.  I learned that along with my certificate of singleness, I would also need a witness who would swear to the fact that I am not married.  We were just missing Pollito's birth certificate, and our medical forms.  Which would be done all by next week.

Then we hit a road block.  I'm not sure how we missed this, but it takes 30 business days to get the official marriage certificate, which is a mandatory item to file for a visa for Pollito.  The original plan had us getting married, the next week turning in our papers to the Embassy and then me flying home to wait patiently for Pollito's visa to be approved.  All this was supposed to be done by the first week of April.  Now we won't even be able to file with the Embassy until May.  MAY!

If we still decide to to the Direct Consular Filing (Filing in Lima) then I will have to wait until the end of May to move back to the US and get started on setting up there.  If I return home as planned then Pollito won't be able to come up to the US probably until 2013 because filing from the US takes a lot longer, like 8 months compared to 2-3 months.  And he can't travel during that time.

An option is to have the civil ceremony in Feb instead of in March, which feels very rushed seeing as i was home for about 10 days.  And seeing as how its in three weeks and my family has to buy plane tickets.  The other option is staying here or filing in the US.  Maybe this is why people get married in the US and then just wait for their foreign spouse to get approved from there...

The plan

Pretty much what our get married in Peru plan looks like

I think we have a plan.

After thinking and examining our options, Pollito and I have a plan.  Its actually been around for a while, but I think we are actually going to stick with this plan.

To start off with, the best option (the one we like the most) was option 4.  Get married in Peru and process Pollito´s visa/residency from here.  It allows him to work up until he leaves for the US and allows him to enter as a legal resident.  The time it takes and the fewer steps involved also make this option very appealing.  Talking to other people who have done the whole marrying a foreigner thing, if they had had the option to do Direct Consular Filing (DCF), they would have.  I want to make sure that we use our time wisely and that Pollito isn´t stuck in limbo when he arrives in the US.  There is nothing more frustrating than waiting with your hands tied.

So, folks, we are getting married in Peru.  WHAT!?!?

We are going to have a civil ceremony before I leave Peru and then turn in the documents.  Once we turn in the documents I don´t have to do anything else, so I will go home to "establish domicile" in the US.  We are just going to have immediate family with us for this day and its going to be just the civil ceremony with no party/reception/white dress/flowers.   Now, don´t hate me, I know a good many of you want to be with me on this special day, and I want you to be there too.  However, I don´t want to plan a party for two months from now and have people not be able to come because it was spur of the moment.  It also doesn´t give me enough time to plan.

Pollito also wants to have a religious (Catholic) ceremony, which is really what says you are married in the eyes of most Peruvians.  We decided that when we do the religious ceremony we will have the big party as well.  We will hold this in Peru because I have no idea what to do with a Catholic Ceremony in the US and if we do it in Peru, Pollito will take care of it all!  It will be a destination wedding if you will, for those of you who like destination weddings.  (I´m not that person who has planned their wedding from the age of 5, but still,  I never would have imagined having a wedding outside of the US) This grand fiesta will probably be between December 2012-March 2013, TBD.  We will also have a reception in the US for all the folks who cannot come to Peru.  How do people feel about traveling during the holiday season?

To sum up: Civil ceremony with family in Feb. 2012, Catholic ceremony around Feb 2013 with a big reception in Peru, American reception....sometime.

Pollito will still stay in Peru while his visa and residency is approved and he will still come up to the states in August/September of 2011.  Another plus of getting married ...he HAS to come up. Muahahaha.  I will be moving home in March.  This, by the way was the plan even if we didn´t get married in Peru.

We now have to stick to our time line and make sure we get our documents and medical exams and dates all  under control before the middle of February.  Its a good thing I don´t have to work full time anymore after Thursday.  I will have time to go wallow through the Peruvian system.  Wish me luck!

Some confusion

I realize there might have been confusion here between the marriage and the visa stuff.  Its ok, I get confused trying to think about it too.

To get married, it would be simpler in the US.  The actual tying the knot part.  From there the permanent resident part is more difficult.

However, for Pollito to get residency status and be able to have the most amount of rights at one time, the best option is to turn in the immigration paperwork in Peru.  To turn paperwork in in Peru means that we would have to tie the knot in Peru.

Rules to getting married in Peru

Getting married in Peru vs. Getting Married in the US - which process wins?

Answer : Hands down getting married in the US, the land of Vegas Marriages.  Carlos would only need his passport.  At least we make getting married easy, for those of us who can get married.

Getting married in Peru is a process. First, you need your list of documents:

1. Birth certificate (if you are foreign, you need it legalized)
2. Medical exam by certified place + AIDS test
3. Identification (legalized if you are foreign)
4. You have to run an ad in any paper in your district for a week (7 days) in case some one wants to contest your marriage.
5. You need to certify your single-ness.  In Pollito´s case, it could be any 4 people that he knows.  In my case I need to get a certificate saying I have never been married (and then get it legalized, notice a trend here?).
6. ID photos.
7. Pollito needs something that certifies where he lives.
8. I need to make sure my visa is valid (which at the moment it is not and I have to pay a fine and leave the country, or find some one who can "help me out")

You need to collect all of these items before you even go to try and get married and buy your marriage folder at the courthouse.  I think I also need to get my signature legalized otherwise what I would sign on the certificate would be invalid.  I guess its good that Peru likes to certify so many things to make sure you are who you say and stuff, but then again we are in the land of corruption and people paying bribes.  If you can bribe the police, you can for sure bribe a notary to say you live in a certain area, and your friends to say you are single.  At least Peru tries...

After you turn your papers in you choose a time, between 9-4 Monday -Friday in the wedding room or from 5-6 is extra, and if you want to get the civil ceremony done outside the wedding room its more expensive, or if you want to get married outside your district, its quite a lot more expensive.  The good thing is that all of this information is available online or by phone.  Pretty easy to come by and pretty easy to decifer.  Its just a lot of stuff you have to provide.  We are going to be paperwork pros by the time we finish all these processes-if we decide to go this route.

Reality Check

There are times I forget that as a couple, Pollito and I are slightly different from most people we know.  Its the international factor.  A lot of people get engaged, and start planning weddings.  We have to start planning weddings AND deal with immigration issues.  Barrels of fun.

After it sunk in that we were engaged, I started looking up the different ways of doing visas and getting Pollito in the US.  It is not simple.  There are tons of options and each has like a billion steps that aren´t very well defined.  I found a website forum about people and visas (Visa Journey) which outlines the ways to get your spouse or future spouse into the US.  The most common ways people get their foreign spouse into the US is through a Fiance Visa.  They get the visa, the foreign fiance goes to the US, they get married and then they adjust the status.  You have to turn in a variety of papers and pay a variety of fees.  The otherway is to ask for your foreign spouse from the US.  People like the fiance visa because they are able to be with their partner in less time than other processes.  The uncertainty is the amount of time you will have to wait to get everything approved.  While you are waiting in a fiance visa, you cannot do anything.  You cannot work, you cannot travel, for however long it takes.  There are so many different processes and visas and forms that it is very confusing even with the help of a forum that explains things step by step.  I started to get overwhelmed.

Luckily, since I live in the capital of Lima, we have the American Embassy which provides really bad customer service, but at least I can go and ask questions.  So on the one out of two days that the window (literally just a window that you stand at and ask questions) is open, I went and waited to be attended.  The info lady who was there was hurried, but helpful.  She let me ask most of my questions before cutting me off to tell me that if I had been living in Peru for more than 8 months, then I was considered a resident in the eyes of the government and I could apply for a a green card for Pollito from Peru.  She told me that it would take a lot less time, like a month or two instead of months to years.  She provided me with papers and I was on my way to tell Pollito the new option.

Just in case you were confused reading thing, I´ll sum up.
1.) Fiance Visa : basically a special tourist visa to get Pollito to the US and then get married in the US.  Once married you have to file for a change of status and work permission.  Time for Pollito to arrive in the US is short, but waiting time to be a permanent resident can be long.

2.)Spousal visa type 1.  Get married in Peru. Ask for Pollito for a visa to allow him to come the US as my husband and then change all the status like in the fiance visa.  He enters like a tourist and we file so he can be a permanent resident.  He travels as soon as we get the petition approved, but like the finace visa, he cannot do anything in the US until is residency status is approved.

3.)Spousal visa type 2 : Get married in Peru, and file for permanent residency for Pollito from the US.  He has his visa interview in Peru and enteres the US as a permanent resident.  He cannot travel until he gets the visa approved.  Process takes up to a year to get it approved.

4.) Spousal visa type 3 : Get married in Peru and file for permanent residency from Peru.  Process takes around 3 months and he enters the US as a permanent resident.

Options 2-4 mean getting married before I leave Peru, and option 1 means getting married in the States.  Maybe it would be easiest to stay in Peru....The problem with options 1-2 is that Pollito will be a sitting duck in the US.  He cannot do anything becuase he would be in limbo for an undetermined amount of time.  Options 3-4 mean that he can stay working in Peru until he leaves for the US.  Trying to weigh the options to see what is the best fit.  On the other hand we have to figure out what getting in Peru involves.....

And the jury's in...

Well, obviously I said "yes", but heres what happened before...

I know that I made Pollito suffer a lot, and I didn't mean to, I just really wasn't ready.  If you know me well enough I am not the best split second decision maker ever.  Especially when it comes to making life decisions.  We hadn't talked about marriage that often and we never really came to a conclusion so this all hit me as a surprise.

Pollito hit the sack right away and I franticly opened my computer to seek out my friends.  Luckily I found one friend online who was able to calm me down a little and help me look at the situation.  When I finally got to sleep with thoughts whirling through my head I felt a little closer to a decision.  In the morning I called my parents to tell them still unsure of what I was going to say.  I'm glad that they had the chance to get to know Pollito while we were in Madrid and they know me pretty well :)  After I think an hour and a half of Skyping, we had to get ready to go to lunch.

Pollito kept asking me what my decision was, and I finally gave him his long awaited "yes".

If you asked why I hesitated, I was because marriage is very big word for me that means no more going back to the comfort of my parents and it really means growing up and planning things for my whole life.  For the past three years I lived with a future that was in 6 months to a year.  When those 6 months or year finished I started the cycle over again.  Being married is a cycle that never starts over.  But I want to be with Pollito, forever and ever.  So, yes, lets get married!

A proposal in Peru

About a month ago, Pollito told me we were going to go get drinks one afternoon after work.  And that we were going to go for a walk.  I readily accepted.  Walking along the parks is a favorite activity of mine and we had great weather.

He suggested that we go walk down the coast/cliff to go to the restaurant Rosa Nautica.  Its a really pretty restaurant that is out on a little breakwater off the coast of Lima.  It gets all lit up at night and looks amazing.  We  took a mini tour of the restaurant and decided to go into the bar instead.  It was like being in a nautical themed bar.  Everything was dark wood and there were ships and brass and steering wheels everwhere.  I loved sitting on top of the sea.  Pollito caught me staring off into the sea and was like...."hello!!".  I love watching the sea.  We ordered drinks and were mesmerized by a couple´s out of bedroom bedroom antics.  C'mon people.  You are in a public place, and not a club, so lets not sit on laps and makeout like there's no tomorrow.  We were talking about the future and what was going on and how I am afraid that he isn't actually going to go to the US because of all the complicated family stuff down here in Peru.  At one point he reached for his jacket, and I had a premonition of him getting a ring out.  It came totally out of the blue, and then I forgot about it because the hand came up empty.

Instead of spending more money on drinks we went up to the top of the coastline again and when wandered around the tourist center.  We ended up at this Arab place in Miraflores, that was pretty good, but I think the food had a lot of msg (big surprise) so was hit by a wave of tiredness.   We decided to walk all the way back to the car and always, the topic of conversation circled around the future.  Little did I know....

When we were finally back I home, we talked more about, which I didn't find strange because it had been a while since we really talked about what was going to happen.  Finally Pollito asked me a question that I thought was really odd.  He asked me to rate how much I wanted to be with him forever on a scale of one to ten.  I didn't answer, I looked at him like he was crazy.

Then he told me to close my eyes and count to ten, slowly.  At this point, I knew, and was kinda freaked out.  I could hear him moving around and then when he told me to open my eyes he was on one knee with a little black box looking at me with his big earnest eyes.  It was pretty romantic...too bad I was kinda freaked out.  He had a ring and everything!!

I told him that I had to think about it....